We’ll See
There was an announcement today. A publicized execution. And all that it means for this country and its people. Then I did it again. Watched too many Facebook reels, followed the rabbit hole into the fear too big for heart…
Tag grief
When the Earth Calls Me Down
After almost two years of silence, I am back, at the pace the earth allows. On living with hEDS and POTS, the part that cries betrayal, and learning to lie down.
Endings and Beginnings
The dusk does not apologize
for the light it swallows whole,
nor does the seed mourn
…
Refuge
A sweet friend and I held an intimate grief and healing circle last night. When I announced it, I received so many responses acknowledging my gift to community, as if I were doing something noble. The truth is, I did…
I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me
It is a hard day to be a citizen of the US. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be the family member of a mass shooter. To love the country that is the root of so…
My Heart is a Ten-Pound Brick
My heart is a 10-pound brick.
It lays heavy in my belly like the chocolate chip cookies,
brownie and carrot cake I ate today,
…
Six Surgeries, a Dying Friend, and a Divorce: What Gratitude Actually Did
We are biologically predisposed to notice what’s wrong, to look for the negative as a means of preparing for it. It’s an ingrained survival skill which has become overdeveloped, particularly in the Western culture in which we live. I mean,…
Though We May Be Left Behind, We Are Never Alone
We have all had people who have walked away from us. Sometimes the leaving was painful, sometimes it was a relief, and sometimes it was both. How we digest that Outer World experience into our Inner World experience can be…
Even A Box of Darkness Can Be A Gift
When Mary Oliver writes, “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness,” she is not suggesting that we not rage against the darkness, that we do not own our suffering, that we stand by and passively say,…
Hello is the Other Side of Goodbye
As I begin the transition from Colorado to California, I am filled with both tender grief and loss, and the yearning and excitement of a new adventure. Holding opposite and contrary emotional states is what we most often struggle with.…
Sister Who Could Not
It doesn’t matter now how tarnished it was,
what water and bramble ran between us.
What you thought was lost
…
Sometimes I Can’t Shake This Sadness
Sometimes I can’t shake this sadness in spite of all my training.
I can’t seem to wish myself into happiness,
whitewash it with a positive affirmation
…