It has been less than a week since we discovered how truly off course this country is. And life is continuing. The world has not ended. Darkness and light continue their sworded dance. In spite of fears and a panicked impulse to hightail it out of the country, apparently, I am staying… for now anyway. I will know today if the home I put an offer on will be accepted, which means all my liquid cash will be dropped into its purchase and renovation, making an exodus untenable.
The part of me that wants to run has been in deep relationship with my laptop, comparing visas and rents in places I have never lived. I let the fear in her search. She is trying to get me to safety before the night closes in too close. I shut down my computer, sit her on my lap, and remind her how I can absolutely navigate whatever challenge comes my way, and that she does not have to face the night alone.
I am holding onto the calling that pulls the heart of me… more group work, more community, more usness, and this home allows for the community that is so needed in these times. I sit with the understanding that if ever there was a time that we needed to come together, to gather, now is that time. We must remember that over 71 million people voted for democracy. And, as is the way of this bipolar country, there will likely be a swing in the opposite direction; hopefully our democracy will not be lost before we get there (though, to be fair, it has never been a democracy for everybody).
Light and dark have always been at play. Perhaps it is the most natural thing in the world, night shifts to day, day shifts to night, but actually they are never changing. Dark is always dark, light is always light, it is the planet that rotates between these two. It is we who are shifting.
I often say that people don’t come into therapy and healing work when things are bad. They come in when it is bad enough. And one person’s bad enough is different than another’s. It’s like the concept of “hitting bottom” in recovery programs. One person’s bottom is “my child looked at me with contempt when I was drunk.” Another’s is, “I killed someone else’s child while driving drunk.” Clearly, we, as a people, have not yet hit bottom. May this be our bottom. May this be the mud from which the lotus blooms.
People don’t come into therapy and healing work when things are bad. They come in when it is bad enough.
Whatever this is, I know my place in the order of things. It is to be a wisdom keeper and light bearer – I don’t fight this. It is as natural as bunny being bunnyness, tree being treeness, coyote being coyoteness. It is simply the essence of how I was brought into this world. So, I give myself to that truth. I buy the home with space for groups, for medicine retreats, for community. I will learn and teach the way of tribe, the way of gathering, the way of usness… and I repeatedly offer my fears to the Great Mother, to the mycelial network for transformation, that I too may break through the soil and spread these spores of light and life-giving energy to any place ready to receive them, land and grow.
Staying is my path, and it may not be yours. For some, leaving is how a body stays safe, especially those whose lives this election puts most at risk. A light bearer can carry her lamp to another shore and still be carrying light.
What is your place in the order of things? What is your calling and your purpose here on this amazing globe? Be that.