Grandfather That Was | Sabrina Santa Clara

It’s over now
grandfather that was
I did not weep
when the telegram arrived
nor have I wept yet.
I cried as a child and
surely that was enough.

I took the two bereavement days entitled me.
I went on vacation.
had a great time
and didn’t mourn you once.

I thought it was over years ago
grandfather that was
but when they broke the earth for you
the memories I pushed underground
came bellowing to the surface

But, it’s the past now.
finished.
except sometimes
when I jerk away as my lover’s breath hits my ear
or I get panicky when his tongue on my breasts
leaves too slimy a trail

It’s over except then
when I remember you and
me as a child
when I remember you

and want to scream.