Do You Feel Consumed By A Deep Sense Of Loneliness?
Does it seem that no one truly sees, hears or understands you? Do you have a difficult time believing that you matter, or that your life has purpose? Perhaps you feel invisible and unloved, even—or especially—around those you “should” trust. For example, even when you’re beside your romantic partner, you might feel lonelier than ever.
Maybe you’ve gone through a break-up or lost touch with friends, family members, colleagues and loved ones, and you suddenly have nowhere to turn for support. Or, perhaps you’ve never felt fully connected with another person. You may go entire days without interacting with anyone. In either case, as time goes on, you may be burdened with the fear that you’ll always be alone.
As you go through each day feeling isolated and rejected, even the smallest tasks might feel impossible. Every hardship—from paying the household bills to grappling with trauma—might seem 100 times heavier when you have to go through it alone.
Do you wish you had someone to spend time with—someone who could recognize and appreciate who you really are? Even as you search for external connection, do you also long to heal and find a deep sense of acceptance?
Today, More And More People Are Feeling Lonely And Isolated
Everyone feels lonely from time to time. Loneliness is a common human emotion, just like sadness or happiness. But if you recognize your experience in the words above, you likely aren’t struggling with common loneliness. Like many others, you may be facing loneliness that feels like a bottomless well that can never be filled.
man sitting on train tracks at dusk by Jeremy perkinsAmericans are dealing with loneliness at epidemic levels, for a variety of reasons. First, it’s important to recognize how our fast-paced, work-obsessed culture values money and production over human connection. Working too many hours and having incessant life tasks leaves little time or energy for developing and deepening relationships.
In addition to lives that are too full, we receive many explicit and implicit messages that we are supposed to manage challenges and excel in life on our own. But, our most basic biological inheritance means that we are social beings. We all need the community and support that our lifestyles often deny.
Anxiety, depression and trauma can also create a predisposition for loneliness. Many children are denied intimacy and trust during development. Whether from abandonment, neglect, abuse or ongoing instability, ruptures in early childhood attachment can teach us that it’s dangerous to be vulnerable or reliant on others. The long-term effects of attachment trauma can deepen a sense of an inner void. As a result, even when someone tries to connect with them, many people feel unable to reciprocate. Or, they might feel the loneliness alleviate only in the presence of others; once they are alone again, that empty void returns.
In fact, surveys show that 60 percent of lonely people are married. Still others spend much of their time alone and yearn for relationships that seem out of reach, whether due to physical isolation or perceived differences or flaws.
Furthermore, many of us are in a state of touch hunger. Humans need physical contact to thrive. Touch regulates our nervous system, soothes distress and communicates care and compassion at a level much deeper than words.
Regardless of its source, loneliness can feed on itself, driving us further inward—and further apart. But, you don’t have to go through life alone. With the help of a skilled relationship therapist, you can recognize your intrinsic worth and heal the relational wounds that prevent you from connecting to others. You can fill the void of loneliness and find wholeness within yourself.
With Holistic Counseling And Spiritual Healing, Coping With Loneliness Is Possible
Like countless others, you may be carrying wounds from your earliest relationships. Thankfully, experiencing a caring, respectful relationship can heal those deep attachment wounds. As your therapeutic coach, we welcome the genuine expression of your most authentic self. We see, honor and validate who you are. And, in this process of cultivating true connection, you can learn a new, empowered, trusting way of fostering relationships.
During sessions, we can discuss some of the reasons you might be dealing with loneliness today. In a space free from judgment and criticism, you can investigate how your experiences have accumulated to shape your current feelings of distrust or unease. Once you identify the ways you might be avoiding vulnerability—and avoiding intimacy—you can develop practical tools to increase connection in the real world. For example, together, you and I can examine how much time you dedicate to your job, then identify practical steps toward cultivating greater work-life balance.
If distance or strain in current relationships is the root of your loneliness, we might incorporate couples coaching and family coaching into our sessions. we can also provide dating counseling, acting as a coach to help you discover the healthy, lasting romantic relationships you’re searching for. For example, we might teach you effective communication skills so you feel equipped to express your wants and needs in relationship, without fear of rejection.
While we work on cultivating external connection, we will also help you be with the loneliness, so it doesn’t feel overwhelmingly painful or consuming. As a spiritual counselors, we can offer gentle guidance as you pursue what brings your life meaning—in other words, what connects you to a Greater Source, with Something Bigger. You can understand that you matter, and begin to make purpose-driven choices based in deep self-love.
No matter how isolated and trapped you might feel today, we know, both personally and professionally, that it’s possible to find a sense of belonging and community. Therapy can heal old wounds and ways of being in the world that have carved out the seemingly endless rut of loneliness. We can help you discover meaningful ways to live in the light.
